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| The Crank Reviews Exposure Joysticks |
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Exposure Joystick.... Jesus.... Is that you?
The Crank has been busy of late... He is a hateful man full of spite, quick to anger and so very slow to forgive.
After suffering a narrow but painfully humiliating defeat at Busso HIM at the hands of Cyclespeeds co-owner and Shop Biach (Andrew "Fat Otter" Jones) The Crank took a step back and took stock of his situation.
It was Fat Otters bike split that buried The Crank at Busso, and to this end The Crank decided to add a few hours to his bike program every week, ride the hills and become stronger and more powerful than Fat Otter can ever imagine…. (Insert evil genius laugh here).
All that was required was some additional illumination for the long hours of darkness in which The Crank must train to overcome his nemesis.... (The Old Cat Eye was getting a bit tired)
So... not wanting to tip Fat Otter off to his cunning plan The Crank (using his fake ID Cyclespeed customer login) purchased himself a spanky new red Exposure Joystick bike light.
Light arrives and The Crank, while impressed with the packaging (The Crank likes things in tins) is satisfied but not overwhelmed by the Joystick.... OK it's light and pretty but its a bike light.... The Crank does NOT get all moist over a bike light???
The attachment thingo is cinda cool in that it rotates around a ball joint allowing it to be easily fixed to a set of aero bars... OK Tick.... Beats having to gaffa tape the thing on..... Allows the gaffa tape to be saved for it's real purpose in life... reinforcing rodents..... Ahhh... sorry The Crank digresses... There is also a helmet mount however The Crank quickly disposed of this as he will not be caught dead possessing anything so un-cool. (Note - The Crank has been known to euthanase cyclists with bad taste for the benefit of the cycling community as a whole.)
So Joystick attached to the CRANKONDALE and looking kinda OK.... but its still only a bloody bike light... The Crank refuses to wax lyrical about anything so mundane....
So the gruelling pre-dawn training begins.... His path acceptably illuminated by the Joystick The Crank rides.... every peddle stroke taking him closer to victory.... This continued for a few weeks... The crank only had one problem with the Joystick. A lose but easy to fix contact made it turn off when a BIG bump was hit. Contact tightened up and no problems since.....
The Joystick quickly and quietly became an important but somewhat under appreciated part of The Cranks training arsenal....
Then one particularly cold, dark and foggy morning as the crank rode repeats up the 1 in 20 at the Dandys the Joystick earned The Cranks respect, perhaps even his adoration.....
The Joystick really put a smile on The Cranks dial when a fellow rider commented that the Joystick was the brightest bike light he had ever seen.... The way in which the comments were made was the clincher.... Oncoming rider, slightly out of control on a quick decent yells "F@#ck me that thing is bright". When The Crank catches up back at the bottom of the 1 in 20 the guy says.... "Oh... its you.... I nearly ran off the bloody road after getting dazzled by that thing... I thought it was Jesus coming....."
The Crank can understand how the poor fellow made such a mistake such is his omnipotent presence....
To be honest, up until then, The Crank had never taken the time to compare the relative brightness of the Joystick to other lights. Since then The Crank has taken note and aside from the LED MTB lights with the big f-off battery pack the Joystick is one hell of a bright light... This is a good thing if you aim is to see or be seen.
The Joystick's rechargeable battery is strong and for the four or so months The Crank has been using it has shown no signs of giving up. Charge life is up to the task. The Crank has run the light on constant high burn for 2 hours then switched back to pulse for another 3 no problems....
OK so the Exposure Joystick its extremely light , very shiny and most importantly its bright in an almost biblical sense... Not cheap but the good stuff never is.
I know... I know… it’s a piddling little bike light…. But it’s the messiah of piddling little bike lights….
Go get one.....
Crank Out.
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